You’re not alone if you find yourself spending more time than you want to on your phone from time to time. But as holiday festivities, opportunities to socialize with loved ones, and maybe some time off from work abound — this time of year may be the least optimal for falling into that trap. “Holidays also offer lots of opportunities for real connection, turning your presence into a present for your family and friends,” says Don Grant, PhD, a media psychologist and national advisor of healthy device management for Newport Healthcare, a national network of mental health care centers for teens and young adults. The answers to questions around the health and wellness implications of cell phone usage and social media interactions are nuanced and not yet fully understood. But there is evidence that being too attached to your phone or digital device can detract from overall health and well-being (not to mention your social life), and that detaching a bit (or detoxing altogether) can bring some benefits. One study, for instance, found that you are less likely to engage in empathetic, quality conversations when a mobile device is present. Other research has linked higher technology use with heightened attention-deficit symptoms, impaired emotional and social intelligence, technology addiction, social isolation, impaired brain development, and disrupted sleep. And, yes, taking a step back from your tech (even temporarily) may be a strategy to reverse some of these things. A small study of a group of college students, for example, linked digital detoxes (even those lasting only a few days) with reports of feeling less anxious and experiencing better mood, productivity, and sleep. But doing it can be easier said than done. So how can you disconnect from the digital and plug into the world around you this holiday season?
7 Tips for Disconnecting During the Holidays
Mental health professionals offer the following tips for staying off your phone and more in the moment:
1. Set Boundaries (Physical, Temporal, or Other Ones)
Pick times of the day, activities, or places where you can resolve to not bring your phone where you can be fully present, Dr. Grant says. For example, maybe you decide to stay off your phone after dinner in the evenings or during family meals so you can be fully present. Or maybe you resolve to keep your phone in one specific location during family gatherings (rather than carrying it around with you). And do plan it in advance, says Dean Aslinia, PhD, a licensed professional counselor at New Path Treatment and Recovery Center, a mental health and addiction treatment facility in McKinney, Texas. You might find yourself enjoying seasonal activities, like skiing, preparing a holiday meal, or playing a game of charades with holiday guests if you’re fully engaged in the activity (rather than being distracted by your phone — or others’ devices), he adds. Find yourself not following your own rules? Try using your phone’s downtime and screen time management features, or an app. Willpower alone is often not enough to make real changes in your relationship with technology, so putting additional measures in place can be more effective.
2. Designate Group-Wide, No-Phone Time
Visiting family or other loved ones this holiday season? Decide as a group if you want to set “phone-free” time and when that will be. “As a family, establish specific times and spaces when you all agree to be fully present and not distracted by devices,” Grant suggests. Maybe it’s during mealtimes, game night, or another activity you all do together. Setting this boundary together with others can help hold everyone accountable to it, Grant explains. “It reduces everyone’s temptation to disappear on their respective devices.”
3. Turn Off Push Notifications
Don’t let a quick check of your phone at a holiday party keep you away from the festivities. Try turning off push notifications for apps you don’t need them from, and check those apps when you want to (instead of when the app wants you to). Research suggests that these automatic alerts indeed prompt us to spend more time on our devices.
4. Delete or Hide Tempting Apps
If you are particularly drawn to a specific app, consider hiding it or deleting it altogether. Try it even just temporarily for the holiday season, Grant suggests. Dr. Aslinia agrees: “Delete or hide apps that are not essential to daily living or that tempt you to just pass time.” But keep and use the apps that will ultimately help you be more efficient and engaged in your day (like weather, calendar, and banking apps), he says. “Apps that are more social or just for fun may make it harder to disconnect and spend less time on your phone.” Think about it this way: The holiday season doesn’t magically make more hours in the day. Would you rather spend your social time on an app or enjoy in-person festivities (or personal downtime)?
5. Adopt a Delayed Posting Habit
Time spent with friends and family, traveling, or partaking in other holiday festivities makes for great memories, as well as photos that you may be tempted to share on social media. But don’t let that posting get in the way of enjoying the moment, Grant says. Skip jumping on your phone to share photos and highlights in real time, so you can stay more present in what you’re actually doing, he suggests. “You can always post post-holidays.”
6. Pick Mono-Tasking Over Multitasking
Your holiday list is probably brimming with tasks, from wrapping gifts to decorating the Christmas tree. Studies have shown that our brain really can’t completely focus on two tasks simultaneously. If you’re scrolling on your phone and trying to carry on a conversation with your grandparents, you’re not fully present in the convo. Instead of multitasking, take time to disconnect and put the phone away so that you can be present in special holiday moments.
7. Take Fewer Pictures
You don’t need a photograph of every moment at your holiday party. Feeling the need to take numerous photos likely means that you’ll have your phone in your hand much of the time. And research does indeed suggest that recording experiences, rather than just living in the moment, may actually interfere with how well your brain forms new memories. Can’t stand the thought of not having a few snapshots from your holidays? Designate a specific time frame as one where you’ll take some pictures, and then stay off your device.
